Teton Hiker 3700 Backpack Unboxing

I am planning to go on a one hundred mile hike on the Appalachian trail in June (2019) with my friends Frankie and Marian (and a few other folks), and they have started a video log of their learning experience as they ramp up for the trip.

A few days ago, they posted an unboxing video for a TETON Sports Hiker 3700 Ultralight Internal Frame Backpack. Frankie and I have been talking about this trip for half a year, now, and gathering together the right pieces of gear has been (for us) good chunk of the fun of planning the trip.

Frankie and Marian go through the backpack's key features, including its adjustability, storage, padding, and more.

One Life’s Depiction of Meaning

New site, new capabilities! Over the next several whiles, I will be copying old scrivenings to this new site, as well as adding new material.

In the meantime, rather than leave errant visitors to this nacent realm with nothing but the 20teens equivalent of "under construction," why not check out my oldest friend's videolog about his family's quest to ramp up to a 100-mile hike on the Appalachian Trail: Will Hike for Food.

American Slavery: An Adventure

Story idea: American Slavery: An Adventure

Tell the story of slavery in the U.S. as a multi-generational adventure with protagonists from one family spanning the centuries. Invaders to Africa, helped by natives who betrayed their own, are abducted and taken across the ocean. There, they are sold into slavery to people who claim Divine Right to own human beings. Their children are subjected to the same lifelong, inherited condition.

There are people in the new land who argue against their enslavement, but they are stymied by the sheer number of people who refuse to relent.

The bloodiest war in American history is fought over the issue, finally freeing millions—and, perversely, leaving many of them lost and afraid, victims of generational Stockholm Syndrome and infantilization. Well-meaning laws create lasting animosity that result in a compensatory set of laws that perpetuate a lesser condition for these people. Free, with more and better opportunities than their parents, still they struggle in the face of a hostile and self-styled superior people.

It is another one hundred years before the terrible laws are struck down, opening even more opportunities for these people, but lingering resentment, stoked by yet more well-intentioned laws, continue to challenge these childrend of abduction as they work bit by geteration bit to relinquish the hold that those who would continue to trade shackles for an ever-lighter set of fetters, always seeming to try to avoid the day when all restraints fall away, and the children of abduction can stand beside those others as equals without the coercion of laws that made acrimony into a cultural more.

V Daze

Vanessa stared out the sliding glass doors of ker kitchen, one hand wrapped around a mug of still-slightly-too-hot tea. She was lost in a daze of non-thought, her unfocused eyes snared by the light of the newly-risen moon just past sunset.

Vanessa felt a hand fold over her wrist. "V. You know you've been doing that a lot since the haspital, right?"

Slowly, and with obvious effort, Vanessa turned her eyes to her best friend's sardonically smiling face. Vanessa blinked a few times, coming back to herself.

"Youve been talking to me, haven't you?" Vanessa said. "Aside from the 'Earth to V' bit."

Miranda simply nodded, her smiling creeping further into her left cheek.

Vanessa sighed.

Fear of Irrelevance

With many of my friends missing, I find that I am more prone to bouts of melancholy. It's harder to distract myself without that constant familiar noise. Also, I recall the old—also familiar—fear of not being someone that contributes to gatherings. This is of course a self-fulfilling fear, as the state in which it puts me makes me less able to contribute which in turn can make me feel that my fears are justified, if I am not sufficiencly self-aware.

I want to write. Not these whiny (if cathartic) journal entries, but truly write. I want to again write staries. I want to tantalize and entertain.

Long as I’m Here

I spent about thirty years of my life wishing I weren't living it. I'm in my mid-40's as I write this, which means that I was feeling that for about two-thirds of my time on this rock. Or, if you fell asleep for fractions in math class, we have a layman's term for that: Most of it.

I think there are other people out there like me, and if you hope to live among people who have the crazy notion that life is a thing that they'd prefer to keep going, you learn to conceal the way you feel. "Lifers" look at you funny when you start talking shit about their favorite thing ever.

You start out like everyone: i.e., You assume everyone feels the way you do. "Oh my heart is so annoying! It just won't stop beating! Every second: Thump. Lots of seconds, it even beats two or three times. Thump, thump, thump, thump. So annoying! It just won't stop!"

But no. Not many people will see your point of view. "Life is beautiful." "Sunrises. Babies, Kittens, Orgasms!" On and on. They don't get it.

But yeah. Getting to a point where you think: "I have eternity to experince nothing at all; a few decades appreciating the wonder of the universe first isn't all bad..."

Well. I got there. Eventually. You know how it is: "Sunrises. Kittens. Orgasms. Etc."

Apology for Success

We have a culture of contrition for success. We make excuses for positive qualities we're born with, downplaying them. We are embarrassed by accomplishments, attributing to luck or privilege what we achieve through the sweat of our own effort.

We have relapsed into the culture prevelant in the Middle Ages, only instead of attributing all things to a god, it is to the society in which we live, and we are merely the lottery of the macroculture's aggregate output.

It was stuffing then. It is no less so now.

Better Than Not

So glad I wrote the above. Mostly, I write while I'm depressed. It's not often that I write when I'm "up." Going only by my writings, one might think I was never happy.

Fact is, I have far more to be happy about than not. I've made mistakes, and I have regrets, but those are far outstripped by the great people in my life, the wonderful events and accomplishments, and my own positive traits.

I have it good. Even better: I'm good.

Remember This

I didn't think there would ever be times like this. I'm so happy that I can't contain all of the emotion! I'm so happy that I feel pity for the state I was in when I "knew" this would never be.

I need to remember this. Always.

Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive

There are a great many reasons to worry and fret in this life, but fortunately, there are also a myriad of reasons to be grateful.

It is easy to get caught up in the negatives, because by their nature, they cause us difficulty and discomfort, and that's what makes us want to remove them, correct them. We do not thrive on negative thinking though, so allowing those flies in our ointment to dominate our focus will prevent us from progressing and succeeding.